Nolifestory Development Blog

Chris is simply baffling, though few would describe him with such a mild choice of words.  He’s rather mysterious, but not in the cool way.  A passive British slacker, Chris doesn’t interact much socially, so information about him isn’t easy to come by.  Chances are, though, that he’s just not a very interesting guy.  Because of the constant bullying that he [maybe rightfully] receives, Chris is an insecure pathological liar who makes up and exaggerates stories in an effort to seem cool, despite ubiquitous evidence to the contrary.  He is good-natured and patient but nevertheless pretentious and a bitch.

Surprisingly enough, Chris is the only actual homosexual in the group.  He has few known hobbies, of which trolling and listening to music mentioned on /mu/, Pitchfork, and Hipster Runoff are the most prominent.  Chris is the oldest of the group, though everyone treats him like he’s 12 because of the way he acts.  Every time he gets a hobby, he gives up after about a few days because it’s too hard or because he’s too lazy.

Whatever real talents or skills Chris may possess outside of trolling have yet to be seen by anyone.  He seems to possess some knowledge of technology and computers but is always either unhelpful or unwilling to exert effort.  He is quite resilient to abuse, though.

Neither Chris nor Noah can really be taken seriously, so their interaction isn’t extensive.  Chris is supposedly friends with Gavin, but the latter consistently and selfishly demands much from and uses the former for his whims.  He rightfully doesn’t think much of Gavin and only [barely] tolerates him for the downward social comparison.

Whereas Michael doesn’t care for and disregards fashion, Chris adopts “hipster” trends but inevitably ends up looking like a moron because he is a tryhard.  While he possesses some book smarts, he has no common sense at all and has a natural instinct to do the stupid and unexplainable.  In fact, “unexplainable” is probably the best description of Chris.  Even if everyone professes to hate him, he always finds a way to make them laugh, though usually only unintentionally.  Chris secretly yearns for Dennis and Peter, and, above all, for Michael’s demise.

A young German university student, Michael likes to fashion himself a scholar and polymath.  With his thirst for knowledge and expansive intellect, Michael would go far in life if he weren’t a hateful, contemptuous, and tactless dick and bully.  He thinks he is an expert on everything (occasionally rightfully), but his overconfidence can get the best of him, unless he’s up against Chris.

Atypical of most university students (and Germans), Michael doesn’t drink at all.  His favourite hobbies generally include reading scary or creepy stories, cooking, listening to extremely loud punk music, reminding others that he is straight-edge, verbosely rambling about boring stories, and getting angry over anything.

Michael is quick to notice bullshit and has a very low tolerance for it, much to Chris’s detriment.  Observant and resourceful, as well as fascinated with the paranormal, Michael can easily notice strange details and exploit them for his own gain.  It’s generally a very bad thing to anger him.

Noah is merely a strange and curious annoyance to Michael, but definitely finds Gavin both contemptuous and despicable.  Michael hates everything about the odious Gavin, such as his ignorance, insistence on being right, and his hypocrisy.  They were originally friends, but Gavin abruptly started hating Michael one day, despite the latter’s (rare) friendliness.

Michael is half-Chilean but asserts that he is a Prussian.  Proudly unfashionable, he has a burning hatred for hipsters above all other things (which are many) and always insults and demeans Chris.  As he does not know how to love, Michael purportedly only yearns for hate.  This is actually untrue, as he secretly yearns for the ability to seduce dykes.

Hello, gentle fans.

Here are our goals for the week:

1. Finish the abduction cinematic for the Roskilde level

2. Add a lockpicking system (will probably just be a placeholder)

3. Finish the first part of the Roskilde level (Gargar)

TALLY HO HAHAHAHAHA

Peter is a Danish university student with on-and-off pretensions of musicianship.  Known for being funny and charming, he is unconditionally beloved by all, despite his rudeness, bluntness, and irritability.  Even when he repeatedly insults and demeans people, they find him impossible to hate and get all starry-eyed, and maybe a little hard/wet.

As a university student without any real responsibilities and as a Dane, Peter enjoys getting belligerently drunk too.  He can often be found creating music, getting frighteningly angry over video games, taking photographs, and thinking and/or expressing unkind thoughts about others.

Peter’s legendary, fearsome, and probably irrational rage is a sight to behold.  His latent viking berserker talents often manifest themselves after slight provocation in the form of shouting, abrupt quitting, endless complaining, and throwing and breaking stuff.  It remains to be seen whether he really is too loveable or if he is just too intimidating.

His relationship with Noah is one of confusion and annoyance, but he rightfully despises Gavin and his hypocrisy, having consistently insulted him from when they first met.  Of course, Gavin still loves him for this.

Peter has a low tolerance for bullshit and says things like they are, much to Chris’s chagrin.  There is a commonly-found notion that women don’t want nice guys; they want men to be assholes.  Maybe this is why Peter is in a stable relationship.  Apparently other men want him to be an asshole, too, because boys like Peter.  Secretly, Peter yearns for a world without people, only whiskey.

Dennis is a boyish Danish university student and an unlikely veteran of the armed forces.  Blessed with a good sense of humour and a love for fun, Dennis has a predilection towards scatological and buttock-related humour.  He is susceptible to sloth, like many of his fellow adventurers.

Being both Danish and a university student, Dennis often abuses alcohol in his free time.  His hobbies include listening to and making music, slacking, drawing phallic imagery, reading profound literature, and being a boy.

After a night of excessive drinking, he has a tendency to wake up the next afternoon to unexplainable situations, such as lost keys, ear pain, shame, and regret.  The combination of lost keys and bouts of drunken viking kleptomania often lead to situations where he unknowingly flirts with danger, but also situations where he wakes up with some nice plunder.

Dennis has a strange combination of both pity and extreme annoyance towards Noah, who was infamous for creeping on and picking on Dennis.  Like everyone else, he utterly hates Gavin and his bigoted, self-smug, and inane opinions and actions.

Not especially well-motivated and underengaged by school, Dennis trains his considerable intellect in strange alternative ways: for instance, as a secretly aspiring writer, he pens the most grotesque and explicit yarns possible.  He may seem like a slacker, but he’s just a boy trying to make sense of a world he isn’t quite ready to be in.  Dennis secretly yearns for love, too, but boyishly expresses his desires through Chris literature.

Since we don’t have any updates to speak of, I’m going to start putting up some character profiles.  I started with myself because fuck you.

An American university student, Clare is an outwardly polite, compassionate, quiet, and passive young man.  Secretly, however, he harbours contempt and intense hatred for select people.  Mercurial and easily unnerved, he is prone to bouts of depression and paranoia.

When not getting egregiously drunk with his friends or avoiding schoolwork, Clare is often either getting unnecessarily angry over Minnesota sports, drawing, listening to bands you’ve never heard of, or making music.  He enjoys wasting time.

Blessed with good insight, Clare usually can seemingly foresee the consequences of actions, though he generally ends up choosing the wrong decision anyway (like when he won a 4Loko chugging contest).  He has the ability to read people easily and rarely forgets details.

Though Clare doesn’t really have anything against Noah, he does find him kind of annoying.  He reserves his real hatred for Gavin, whom he hates more intensely than even his ex-girlfriend.  (That would be a lot, which he’ll be eager to remind you of.)

Clare is basically the pretentious hipster douche who hates other hipsters for being hipsters, although he’ll vehemently deny being one himself.  He is the kind of person who would dress like a flood victim because it’s “vintage” and you wouldn’t “get it”.  Additionally, Clare often starves himself by forgoing meals, because being ungodly thin is “alt”.  He secretly yearns for love.

Almost done with the “camping area” part of the Roskilde chapter.

It features a lot of gypsies, so you should really look forward to it.

We’ve made some more progress.

Pretty cool.

Things are really looking up now.

-Dennis